Imagine a mom cooking dinner for her family in the kitchen. Her little 5 year old daughter is pulling at her floral apron to show her the beautiful drawing she made of a precious dog she saw at summer camp that day for “Puppy Day” while her 3 year son is crying hysterically because his toy airplane has broken and he needs it fixed in that moment so she has it on the kitchen counter next to the veggies she was chopping, promising she will fix it quickly. All the while, the television is blaring in the background to another kid’s show. The beep, ding or ring of her iphone tempts her to go and check to see who is texting at 5:30pm. Then the phone rings and she cradles it on her shoulder as she stirs the boiling pot of pasta so it doesn’t clump together, because neither her kids will eat any of the hard parts of the pasta when that happens.
b r e a t h e… Can you imagine the tension? It’s like a bad commercial. Have you ever had a day where you experienced something like this? Maybe your kids are older with different issues or it’s your dog that needs your attention or you are checking your email. Whatever the case may be...
What you need is CALMNESS. Breathe out on the word “CALM” until you feel it throughout your body. It’s so easy to get drawn away from what you are doing in the moment but YOU have the power to draw the focus back in and teach your family how to as well.
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Most things can wait but it takes practice saying no.
Say No to Chaos and Yes to C a l m.
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To live Thoughtfully and be present and aware in each moment, the goal is to be a
Single-Tasker versus a Multi-Tasker.
Commit to not commit to doing everything at that moment. You will be more successful and efficient in following through and more fulfilled by each process.
How about switching things up a bit and playing relaxing, calming music instead of having the TV on as background noise while you make dinner and invite the kids to help with dinner instead of trying to pull you in so many directions. Your daughter would appreciate your time if you were to explain that after dinner you would draw even more animal pictures with her and you could have an Art Show for the rest of the family as opposed to a courtesy “That’s nice, sweetie”. Maybe you or your husband could work on fixing the toy airplane together with your son to include him in on the experience. And perhaps. Tivo-ing that special kid’s show and watching it together as a family one evening would be a special treat.
Research shows that slower, relaxing music has beneficial effects on one’s psyche and can calm the mind and body which in turn, shifts behaviors, attitudes and emotions. It can also begin the process of winding down the day- preparing the family for a mindful meal and peaceful sleep. (You may want to pop that CD in the car for some peaceful car rides as well.) So go out to Target for a CD or download one on itunes and enjoy your thoughtful time with your family. Your kids may even get a kick out of cooking “outdoors” to the sounds of crickets and forest streams, if you dare.
Remember, Single-Tasking is the goal, because it keeps you present in the moment!
written by Jo Pessin, C.Ht. Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Therapeutic Imagery Facilitator
Jo Pessin offers individual and group sessions for adults, teens and children who want to make a positive change in their lives.
Find out more about her Thoughtful Living program at www.athoughtfulway.com and follow her on facebook at www.facebook.com/athoughtfulway
